DOES ANYBODY UNDERSTAND WHY MY NAME IS FIZZLESANDBANGS?
“Some asshole told me to put it in the microwave.” My friend, upset over her first experience with a Toaster Strudel.
When you think of Christmas dinner you think of all fixings: turkey, cranberry sauce, mashes potatoes, and your grandmother’s stuffing you tell all your friends is the best. In fact, every family has a Holy Dish or two, with a secret ingredient passed down from generation to generation. My family holds pride in Granny’s ‘Special’ Mashed Potatoes and Stuffing (I wait all year for that stuff; I’ll never know how she makes them just right, every time).
So you can imagine my disappointment last year when my UNCLE made the stuffing and it tasted like cardboard (sorry, man).
And you can imagine my disappointment THIS year when my stepmother announced we were having ITALIAN FOOD FOR CHRISTMAS.
OK, the rumours are true: the one perk to divorced parents is two Christmases. And yes, I’m still getting my Granny’s dinner when I go over to my mom’s side of the family.
But, seriously? ITALIAN? First, no snow, then, NO CHRISTMAS DINNER?
If I wanted Italian….well, I’d probably have it next weekend. TRUE Christmas dinner only comes once a year.
I’VE BEEN CHEATED!
The Black Keys – Lonely Boy
No seriously, MAKE IT SNOW!
So today, I give you a quote from a reader who dropped me a line in the comment box a while ago. Thanks, it’s really good! And now i finally know someone reads this!
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” – Mark Twain
Maybe you’ve realized, maybe you haven’t; I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus lately and have been working hard on my other blog, Bubblewrapbeauty.wordpress.com. Anyhoo, I’m typing up a post right now just in case people actually READ this, and here’s the subject: snow.
I am not one of those people that believes the Internet is a safe and happy place, because while there are some amazing things out there (AHEM), there are some terrible things posted on the web too. And so I will not give out my location, but I will tell you this: I’m in Canada, and it’s looking like it’s NOT going to be a white Christmas. Fat flakes don’t fall past my window. The world is not carpeted in a blanket of white. Think of all the snow cliches you’ve ever heard; none of them apply here. I actually ran around outside in my socks and they weren’t even wet by the end; they had GRASS on them. How depressing. The only time I’ve seen a true Green Christmas was when I lived in Cali, and I hated it. The tree looks so wierd against a backdrop of dying trees and the hedges still green. I’m urtterly depressed. I’ve tried everything: hot cocoa (with MARSHMALLOWS, people!), wearing a tacky sweater around the house, opening my Christmas pyjamas from under the tree in a mad rage (I’m currently sporting them and they’re starting to smell. Yay.) The people at the mall probably have me red flagged, because I’ve been spotted singing “White Christmas” clutching a snow globe in Chapters (not really, but I did gaze longingly at the decorations. I haven’t the heart to put up my own because it just doesn’t feel the same).
Anyways, I’ll shut up now. Send a message to a power greater than myself and the Weather Channel that there will, in fact, be powder this holiday season.